The Chicken Coop

Milhouse voted top feline marketing exec of 2007

2008-01-19T20:59:00.000-05:00

You gonna burn WHAT?

2007-11-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

Just some Real Talk© from a brother who always comes correct: R. Kelly.

Is this how we play Chicken in 2007?

2007-11-03T18:41:00.000-04:00

It's November my friends--that means its the season of standardized tests (is it?). So with that in mind, here's a little warmup.

What is most offensive about this video clip?

A) The sheer act of being trampled by the Auburn football team.
B) The producer's decision to show the clip over and over with a certain cinematic flair.
C) The anchors' seamless integration of small talk into the program.
D) All of the above.

The answer is E--the fact that despite this hilarity, no one was actually hurt.

More from the Onion Weekender...

2007-10-21T20:29:00.000-04:00

I heard Christopher Reeve was faking it too!

2007-10-01T19:38:00.000-04:00

It's time for the executive leadership of Chicken Coop Holdings LLC to level with the public. We're about to be bought by News Corp. and as a result can only show news bloopers. Or so it would seem. Here's former paraplegic Kevin Everett showing the world that he has feelings too...

We're sending our love down the well -- and straight to hell

2007-09-02T19:48:00.000-04:00

Someone forgot to tell these people to warm up before singing in a stadium. Watch out for the old "steel wool" effect on your eardrums. But at least they look good doing it!

World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

2007-08-27T23:53:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to add any personal interpretation. It's from The Onion and it's a @#$% riot. Enough said.

World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

Best video dating blooper of 1986

2007-07-29T10:19:00.000-04:00

This is highlight reel-caliber video dating footage; ladies, here's your knight in shining armor. Although behind every great man lies an Achilles Heel, and for Steven Morris it appears that simultaneously sitting and yelling are just too difficult to coordinate.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/27729/

Let's get physical!

2007-07-22T09:14:00.000-04:00

Wear sweats to the gym at your own risk.

Chris Farley as a little girl

2007-07-06T16:47:00.000-04:00

Many thanks to Philip Huffman for unearthing a rare baby photo of Little Miss Chris Farley...

USBeatdown

2007-06-03T16:32:00.001-04:00

Watch with fascination as a corporate bean counter tackles his co-worker:

Innovate or go home.

2007-05-29T19:17:00.000-04:00

To all who have maxed out at 649 hogs per hour, I give you the Jarvis Hog-no-Mor™ H-650:

Mim's the word - that means please stop rapping.

2007-04-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

Did anyone notice that in its latest expose' on the creative genius of all-galaxy rap artist Mims, the Village Voice is taking on Vibe and The Source for a dominant position in rap and RB publishing?

A sampler of some of the journalistic gems laid down by Rob Harvilla, clearly on his way to a Rappy award:

"First of all, no one calls it "Frisco" except rhyme-starved rappers, and the only worthwhile MCs living anywhere near Sacramento are in prison."

"As these claims and predictions are speculative, there are more possible outcomes; it seems reasonable to assert that Mims can't sell more than a mil' sayin' nothin'."

"Since we're feeling charitable we'll assume all of Mims's women are hot; with regard to our own conquests, it's best to be honest with ourselves."

Elevating a drinking game to an art form.

2007-04-22T23:20:00.000-04:00

This guy is a cocky bastard--and a goddamn hero at the game of Beirut. But the moving skateboard one is just obnoxious.

From the creators of Dick In A Box...

2007-04-15T19:25:00.000-04:00

Maybe you caught this last night? Here's why there's still hope for Saturday Night Live:

Once clean-cut rap image goes UGLY

2007-04-03T12:25:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you cross-bred the in-your-face dorkery of Nelly with the hard-hitting lameness of 50 Cent? What if you named the product Karl and then sent him away to school for an advanced degree in public policy? Search no more.

Can I get a neckhole in the congregation!?!?!

2007-03-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

If you're an avid reader of Watt Poultry USA, you're likely to regularly face tough purchasing decisions, such as whether to invest in a dicer or leaf lard puller. Word to the wise--hold out for the spinal cord remover. (Coming in April!)

Tha Criminalympics Main Event - Liquor Store Robbery

2007-03-05T13:44:00.000-05:00

Rule #1 when you're robbing a liquor store--try to go through the front door. Broken window glass feels much better cutting through your skin than a hundred shattered wine bottles!

Evite: Lucy Gao's Birthday Blowout! Attendees: 0.

2007-02-23T12:29:00.000-05:00

Breathe it in, boys and girls...here's a perfect example of how the internet can be used for forces of good instead of evil--in this case the appropriate backlash to a prissy banking intern's nauseating self-importance. (see below)

Probably the funniest part about this is how people line up to start ripping her apart--one by one, obviously bankers in London, then out of nowhere the dialogue switches from English to Danish...then the Italians weigh in...

Don't miss tonights action--the seedings will be announced for the group stage of a worldwide round-robin tournament. We'll see, once and for all, which nation's finance community can spread electronic ridicule the fastest! Norway's blogger population flourished in 2006, and Mexico boasts a staggering 92% incidence of ridicule-related hospitalizations, but this year all eyes will be on Polish expat "Olek" Gajowniczek, the self-proclaimed Monarch of Mockery, who was fired from his job at Citigroup and is now a consultant to portly middle school bullies named Ian all along the eastern seaboard.

I, for one, will be riveted in my seat.

Links:
lucygao.blogspot.com,
YouTube,
The Guardian,
Times Online,
AOL,
CBS,
The Sun.

To save space in our cluttered coop, I've posted the full text separately. Click here.

Faces - February crop

2007-02-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

G. Schumbagg

Richard Cannoli

Lyle "Muffin Top" Jones

Doug the Eyesore

Have our journalism schools gone downhill?

2007-02-09T14:48:00.000-05:00

We're up to our eyeballs in the Information Age, so yes, time management is a critical skill for all of us....but please, this multitasking thing has gotten way out of hand.

Dropping like flies on Serbian TV

2007-02-08T14:42:00.000-05:00

Holy crud, talk about a quick change of fortune. This woman was on her way to delivering the news bite to end all new bites...where did the chloroform come from? Note the big falling square.

Da Superfans - raising the bar even higher!

2007-02-03T15:28:00.000-05:00

With the buildup to Super Bowl XLI, the real stars won't even be taking the field. They'll be at Slugger's Bar & Grill in Chicago, serenading the patrons with sweet nasal melodies from the (enlarged) heart.

Looks like NBC, AOL, MSN, Yahoo!, Google, The Wall Street Journal, The Tribune Company, The Chicago Sun-Times, the underground hip-hop establishment, and many others have caught on! www.DaSuperfans.com

Careful not to get whiplash!

2007-01-12T17:31:00.000-05:00

Who said nothing interesting happens in Minnesota? Jeff Crilley certainly would disagree.

Trying to beat the winter cold? Wear some road kill.

2006-12-16T20:33:00.000-05:00

Word in the base lodge is, this hat is the Tickle Me Elmo of the 2006 holiday season. Reserve yours today!

A prickly world view from feline leadership

2006-12-16T19:28:00.000-05:00

Superfans Take Manhattan.

2006-12-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

These magicians are up to their old tricks, with their best installment yet.

Rummy has a lighter side?

2006-11-19T17:41:00.000-05:00

Here are some Rumsfeld press conferences you probably never saw:

More faces

2006-10-17T22:32:00.000-04:00

handsome David Cross

terrorist Roy Munson

Grubby Lopez

Amish peadophile

Star Trek Cribs - The Director's Cut

2006-10-11T12:55:00.000-04:00

This is a spectacular spoof. How they got the world's finest actor to do the voiceover is beyond me.

50 Forint - the hottest rap star east of the Danube

2006-09-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

I'm going to let this clip speak for itself (with just a small intro by E-man):

"This video came to my attention earlier tonight, courtesy of my hungarian neighbors who wanted to show me "far more than just funny." May I present to you Speak Kecz, an aspiring hungarian rapper, who-totally true-sunk the bulk of the money he made in business and in his days traveling the world on cruise ships, on this music video he thought would launch his rap career by capturing the "anti-war" vibe at the right time. Bear in mind that this is not a joke and he has hired,out of his own pocket I am told, some of actually known hungarian singers to back him, as well as a rented a porsche and a full video film crew to shoot the video in a prominent military cemetery."

(And here at the Chicken Coop, we support all shout outs to Tupac from retired bond traders.)

Presenting Emmanuel Lewistan

2006-09-22T17:58:00.001-04:00

The one thing that I can't figure is, if this arranged marriage was intended to produce the hottest 80s dance moves this side of 1995...why in god's name did they engineer their kid to look like a mini James Brown?

Kudos to E-man for unearthing this precious metal:

And now there's a part two.

Fun with a police artist sketchbook

2006-09-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

Here's my barbershop quartet for the night. That little bugger in the #4 slot, I like to think of him as an amish Sam Cassell. I invite you to submit your own.

Myron Lickspittle

Roving eyebrow Dwayne Wayne

Handsome midget

Amish Sam Cassell

Peter Piper on the Pacific Rim

2006-09-10T19:14:00.000-04:00

This is your typical meat-and-potatoes Japanese game show, reflecting new legislation that has done away with the hooking up of electrodes to one's nuts. The name of the game: high stakes tongue twisters!

More from The Onion Weekender

2006-08-26T21:46:00.000-04:00

Flash the pink card!

2006-07-31T13:14:00.000-04:00

Make no mistake--the Chicken Coop is friendly to all lifestyles, inclusive of all homosexuals and extending far beyond. But this video of the gay soccer referee is one of the most enlightening clips in recent memory.

Many thanks to Alex Reinlieb for this one:

Jam out at your own risk

2006-06-24T14:55:00.000-04:00

This jolly little hipster-in-training has taught us all a valuable lesson: in the information age, DON'T DO ANYTHING, because someone is probably filming a video of you to put online. Wake up, stretch, and go back to bed, and you have nothing to worry about.

When he turns up the heat during the third verse, be prepared to wet yourself.

By the way, Star Wars Kid can finally breathe a sigh of relief. In other news, if I were Gnarls Barkley I would put my name on this and splash it on MTV right away.

And without further ado: "Kid caught singing."

The lighter side of soccer humor

2006-06-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

It's world cup time. Chew on these:

Funny injury just got funnier.

Mississippi Mudd.

Jackhammers may cause birth defects!

2006-05-19T07:18:00.000-04:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again...our nation is only as intelligent as its expectant mothers from Roanoke:

Here's why you wait 30 minutes after eating

2006-05-13T11:16:00.000-04:00

Kinder Jackass

2006-04-29T13:42:00.000-04:00

Does Johnny Knoxville have a German toddler son?

Does Kia make copiers now too?

2006-04-21T18:30:00.000-04:00

Here's an instructional video for all office admins.

Many thanks to Alex Reinlieb for this one:

No need to wear a helmet

2006-04-19T21:29:00.000-04:00

The spirit of Christmas

2006-04-11T21:34:00.000-04:00

This just warms my heart. Tops is the part where he's pawing at the Nintendo box like a declawed kitten.

It's an important day in Italian politics...

2006-04-09T12:02:00.001-04:00

They say that the camera-friendly guy is the one who usually wins. Take a look, and you be the judge.

Books: What's All The Buzz About?

2006-03-26T16:17:00.000-05:00

Camels are terrific!

2006-03-04T18:43:00.000-05:00

Many thanks to Sergio Burani for seeing beauty in nasal chaos.

Most patient guy in the world

2006-02-19T12:53:00.000-05:00

	"This little German kid is nuts, he gets so pissed off waiting for a video game to load." Watch video
	"Pay special attention to the part where he accidentally bashes the Help key. "Hilfe?!?!" Ich brauche keine Hilfe!"
	"For such a slow computer, this krauts got one hell of a webcam...he should really get that fixed, before he puts his head through the monitor...or get some rec-specs."

(Broke)Back To The Future

2006-02-09T12:59:00.000-05:00

Here's what happens when you turn the love meter up to 1.21 jigowatts!

Wonder Dog

2006-02-05T16:09:00.000-05:00

You know those plastic cones that dogs get when the vet wants to keep them from feasting on their sores?

What happens when he isn't packing plastic? The answer - he gnaws his arms off.

Greg Louganis Jr.

2006-01-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

There's something so elegant about the way this young diving prodigy flips...before leaving the diving board...

Onion Weekender

2006-01-08T15:05:00.000-05:00

These are really underrated

Dangerous on the dance floor!

2005-12-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

Just in time for your New Year's Eve rave--some hot moves for the parquet! The only thing funnier would be if the video were actually of these three little bundles of humanity:

Happy New Year from NJguido.com!

Boom goes the dynamite!

2005-12-18T12:22:00.000-05:00

You've probably seen this low-rent college sportscast by now...it took the world by storm over a month ago.

To anyone unfamiliar with the New Jersey stereotype...

2005-12-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

A simple cab ribe through Hoboken turns into something much more--reverse taxicab confessions. Note the quality of this man's upbringing.

NCAA Football meets The Simpsons

2005-12-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

Yes! We got Kent Brockman. Thus only minimal damage sustained compared to other Big Ten teams, such as Illinois who nailed the pick of the litter--Milhouse.

Enjoy folks...this is really impressive.

The day the rippin' B-chord died...

2005-11-21T22:47:00.000-05:00

Yes! This just goes to show that 1990's Saturday Night Live fodder is still the gift that keeps on giving...

Shame on the entire journalistic profession...

2005-11-11T22:17:00.000-05:00

...for condoning the blatant ridicule of a clear case of Muppet-Babies-Larynx...

2005 - Superfans In Chicago

2005-11-01T21:36:00.000-05:00

This ought to speak for itself:

http://www.loqandkey.com/superfans2005/bears.html

Why Kiwis are cool, even cops

2005-10-20T21:24:00.000-04:00

Did he learn those moves from Mike Ditka?

2005-08-13T17:31:00.000-04:00

Slow stretch right now...this crotch shot will have to tide us over for a bit.

Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner--who would you rather nail?

2005-08-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

Off with the gloves! If only these young whippersnappers stopped to think for one second, they'd have realized they could each have had an Olsen twin to themselves...

Beware the little bell in the bushes!

2005-08-07T12:32:00.000-04:00

It's August, a new month. Kids are wrapping up at summer camp. Stores are hanging up signs for Back to School sales. The pennant races are heating up. And yes, I've got another hilarious cat clip for you.

Use your imagination

2005-07-27T00:04:00.000-04:00

Actually, thanks to these clever marketing folks, you won't need to.

A sweet embrace...

2005-07-12T20:54:00.000-04:00

Everybody hug the pommel horse!

If they had ESPYs for retailers...

2005-07-01T18:14:00.000-04:00

This is my friend Phil.

Phil's favorite thing is to laugh at other people's pain. Hence it was with great joy that he sent me this video clip. Note the slick editing job by QVC.

Now might also be a good time to revisit the legendary I Love Lucy outtake posted back in November.

If we left the Italians in charge...

2005-06-12T09:37:00.000-04:00

Laughed off the stage 2.0

2005-06-06T07:35:00.000-04:00

Ruminating about my most recent post, I kept coming back to the hilarious image of ex-Press Secretary Ari Fleischer sheepishly running off stage, after telling the world the official White House point of view that nations cannot be bought for the purposes of advancing a wartime agenda! I guess the press didn't believe it either; here's the video (you'll need Real Player). I doubt any Turks would find it funny, though.

Condi "Glen" Rice gets laughed off the stage

2005-06-06T07:29:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wake up in the morning and read the headlines, only to wonder aloud if the world news is actually trying to sound like The Onion? I'm not one to yell at inanimate objects, but I certainly spewed a lot of pound signs and percent symbols at my monitor upon seeing this:

Latin Nations Resist Plan for Monitor of Democracy

Brutal beating in the Bible Belt

2005-05-23T19:06:00.000-04:00

This happened in Dallas. An operations manager for Jack in the Box was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. This is the actual voice mail message. It was forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server:

http://scottrope.typepad.com/scott_rope/files/voice_mail.mp3

Frito-Lay dabbles in OTC drugs

2005-05-19T15:27:00.000-04:00

Revenge of the Dorks

2005-05-16T13:18:00.000-04:00

Most of you have probably already seen this, but in recognition of this week's historic release of the final Star Wars movie "Revenge of the Sith," I'm posting the legendary video "Nerd Wars." (Triumph in '08.)

Does he ever get fruit snacks caught in that thing?

2005-05-15T22:56:00.000-04:00

I found this great shot of actor Sam Elliott.

Apparently his son Sammy Elliott Jr. is also an up-and-coming talent...czech the head shot:

Amazingly, the photo is legit--order your fake mustaches at www.orientaltrading.com! Click here to see an example of fake mustache hilarity.

Feel good about yourself!

2005-05-09T20:38:00.000-04:00

...because most likely you're going to amount to a whole lot more than these guys. But all kidding aside, these musicians--let's call them The Sin Destroyers, because that's their name--are really onto something. "Jesus Is My Drug" is the long-awaited vindication of Stryper's well-publicized Bible benders from two decades ago...

Many thanks to John Clingan for making us all better people.

Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

2005-05-04T09:04:00.000-04:00

You might say it's too much of a lob to just paste an Onion article into my blog and call it art...and you'd be a right. But this one is pure brilliance:

Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

AMSTERDAM—American students traveling abroad confirm the findings of a study indicating that Washington's unilateral approach to foreign policy has seriously undermined Americans' chances of getting laid.

"I've been in Amsterdam for two months and have yet to begin a conversation with a cute girl that hasn't ended in a lecture about how big, evil America is taking everyone's oil," said college sophomore Brad Higgs, a participant in Johns Hopkins University's study-abroad program. "I offer to buy them a drink, and they tell me I shouldn't just stand by and watch Bush destroy the world. Look, if I had that type of pull with the president, I obviously wouldn't be out trolling for anonymous Dutch pussy."

The report, released Monday by the Center For U.S.-International Casual Relations, was based on interviews with approximately 1,400 American students returning from abroad. According to study director Gilbert Hapbrook, sexual contact between American students and foreigners has declined steadily since January 2001.

"Unpopular military actions and dismissal of international organizations have galvanized world hostility toward the U.S.," Hapbrook said. "Instead of being inundated with questions about Hollywood and requests to help hot young foreigners practice their English, Americans are being openly scorned in European pubs and cafes. Data taken from a poll of students in December 2004 showed that only a dismal 11 percent had achieved sexual congress with a non-American."

Hapbrook said the 2004 overseas-coitus figures show a slight recovery from the all-time low reached in November 2002, after the Afghanistan invasion and during escalating conflict with Iraq. But the figures are still well below those of 1999, when Bill Clinton was in office and a very healthy 67 percent of respondents scored abroad.

"I'm in Amsterdam—Amsterdam, for Christ's sake—and I'm in the middle of the longest dry spell I can remember," Higgs said. "Last week, I was making out with this Italian girl at a concert. It was all going great until the music ended and she heard my American accent. I swear to God, I went from the cusp of a hand job to, 'Why won't your country sign the Kyoto Treaty?'"

University of Colorado junior Casey Knight recently arrived in Amsterdam after a month in Germany.

"I asked a group of German girls at some Eurotrash disco to dance and they started yelling at me," Knight said. "They said that by paying taxes to the American government, I am no better than a fascist. Well, they would know, I guess."

Even students who actively oppose President Bush are susceptible to criticism, according to Emily Biehn, a Duke University student spending her spring semester in Paris.

"I voted for Kerry and I marched against the Iraq war," Biehn said. "But when I got to Europe, I might as well have been wearing a Bush bumper sticker on my forehead and star-spangled cowboy boots. As soon as the French guys hear I am from the U.S., all they want to do is argue politics."

"And switching tactics and acting like you're totally apathetic about politics just pisses them off even more," Biehn added.

Acknowledging that a large-scale change in American foreign policy is unlikely to occur before the end of the current semester, Hapbrook recommended three tactics for American students frustrated in their attempts to bed foreigners.

"First, pretend you're Canadian whenever you can," Hapbrook said. "But make sure you're not around actual Canadians, because they'll know you're lying and cock-block you. Second, if there are any anti-American protests going on, take care to avoid women carrying signs. Third, focus your itinerary on countries like Ireland and Japan that are still relatively friendly to Americans."

"You may want to write off France altogether," Hapbrook added.

Hapbrook said he developed his tactics in 1983, when the American government was practicing hardline Cold War foreign policy and he was spending his junior year abroad.

Higgs, who spends most of his time in his hostel playing solitaire and watching DVDs on his laptop computer, urged students back home to write to their congressional representatives.

"This affects all of us," Higgs said. "The government has to acknowledge the needs of young Americans. Too many U.S. citizens in foreign lands are spending sleepless, lonely nights jerking off in increasingly filthy sleeping bags. It sucks."

And speaking of Nickelback...

2005-05-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

There's nothing funnier than a rock n' roll band that yells out "Who's ready to rock!?!?!" ...and no one is in fact ready to rock. Unless by "ready to rock" you mean throwing rocks at the band.
This one is a few years old, and still kills me...

Raw Bay Area reporting!

2005-05-03T10:11:00.000-04:00

Driving Down The 101: blogging the way all of yous like it.

This week's gem is the American Idol Rant. This is a show which pushes the bile to the tip of my tongue, whose popularity makes me weep for the future leadership of my country...so naturally the protagonists are deserving targets of ridicule. These are people whose inevitable downfall on this show is justifiably "cartoonified" for the masses, ostensibly as one more subtle indication that the American Dream is about originality and humility, not about belting out a cheesy ballad to make millions.

If you're going to stoop to that level, why not make it easy on all of us and join the Juice Crew?

The clock strikes midnight--and Cinderella fires up a blunt

2005-04-30T11:05:00.000-04:00

Have a look at this bubbling spring of juicy prom photos!

I think my favorite would have to be the Pacers shot (also below), where the girl has a belly button slit obviously sewn by a tailor with a skill level of Doughboy or lower, perhaps purposely carved wide to allow for an emergency ce-section. AND there's a white dude in the shot...is his failure to wear an NBA suit a direct expression of non-partisanship in an effort to remain alive past midnight?

If you want to get technical, you can also laugh at the fact that they clearly missed out on Reggie Miller and Jermaine O'Neal--the last guy to wear #30 on the Pacers was probably Ty Cobb's grandmother...

Caution - flammable

2005-04-27T00:04:00.000-04:00

Aptly titled "Proof That God Exists." You've got to wonder how much the pushbroom invades on the angle of the spray. Regardless, That Guy 72, Bears 3.

(Courtesy of our friends at C-Spantastic.)

Say it with me: "Aw."

2005-04-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

It appears Zeus "Tiny" Lister is playing pro basketball these days, and wearing his emotions on his sleeveless Uruguayan basketball jersey. Beware--this is raw.

The one question that remains...at the very end, is that anchorman on the right hiding a smile?

And the satchel says "Thud."

2005-04-12T00:22:00.000-04:00

And as long as I'm peddling unfunny material, here's why there's never a good reason not to wear a cup.

Not-so-Stealth Ballmer

2005-02-25T08:49:00.000-05:00

You know those guys at NBA basketball games, who strut around during timeouts and shoot t-shirts out of cannons to crazed fans? What you don't know is that they all go through a grueling eighteen-week crash course before ever stepping out onto the floor...a training regimen which includes conditioning programs, goatee-growing workshops, and a motivational speech by ex-T-shirt Cannon Man (and current Microsoft CEO) Steve Ballmer.

The Heavier Side Of The Bush Administration #002

2005-02-21T19:42:00.000-05:00

Why not up the ante with a nice garden variety of Rich Cheney. It's really only funny because of the title. Sorry, not much of a contribution...I had an itchy posting finger.

The Heavier Side Of The Bush Administration #001

2005-02-17T21:04:00.000-05:00

Editing pictures of Bush administration officials is all well and good (C-Spantastic has done some good work!) but it's time someone collected serious pictures too. These come straight from the web, so we know they haven't been tampered with. Tonight's installment: Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton.

Comp and Zircon Pants

2005-02-17T20:49:00.000-05:00

OK, so all my avid ChickenCoop fans missed out on some e-lovin this past Tuesday, but, what the shoot, better late than never. Check out this true story from fellow blog-roller Dan Bana, entitled Valentine's Day Troubleshooting at CompUSA.

It will warm your heart as if you just gave your teenage guido son Anthony his first short-shifter.

(I know, clearly a reach on the title of this post; you can't win them all.)

Chubby Jedi Master on X

2005-02-14T22:59:00.000-05:00

This young man sort of reminds me of the Star Wars Kid caught on tape making sweet love to a broom handle...but now he's all clubbed out and showing his palms to the world:

http://www3.ns.sympatico.ca/lyle_24/myhero.swf

NBA All-Ugly team

2005-01-27T20:12:00.000-05:00

Come on, ever since Scottie Pippen was scorching our corneas during the Bulls' magical dynasty years, you've begged for someone to make a comprehensive list of all the ugliest ballers in the NBA. Search no more--here's a little something to prime you:

Maybe if he spent more time watching the game...

2005-01-25T17:25:00.000-05:00

...he'd be the star quarterback, instead of just another random dude on the sidelines.

Pinkey The Yayed-Up Feline

2005-01-20T22:53:00.000-05:00

It's a fair question...what is this fascination with cat humor? This time it's not the cat getting injured...it's me and you, our sides splitting from laughter.

The crowd chants: "Offense!"

2005-01-20T22:48:00.000-05:00

You know all those bands that suck on purpose, and are proud of it? It's because society learned to laugh at them...thanks to Stache Edwards and the Groovin' A-Cups!

The Great Information Society

2005-01-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

It appears the ACLU has hired some top-flite comedic talent with strong heckling credentials. Down with homework!

(You'll need Macromedia Flash to view this.)

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/

Eagle-eye reporting!

2004-12-16T19:40:00.000-05:00

This is the kind of journalism that would make Robert McChesney proud...

"Chasing Chauncey: Hunting The True All-American Dork"

2004-12-14T09:43:00.000-05:00

Next in my series--we meet the good people at NJGuido.com. Keep on eye on these movers and shakers...because like a hot night at Temptations on the Jersey Shore, they won't be here forever! Here's a little taste, before you graduate to Guido University. (Some of the journal entries will blow your mind!)

This is how we party in the U.S.

2004-12-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

I'm always on the lookout for little Napoleons. I say it's about time the whole world appreciated Americans' dormant übercoolness. Make sure to check out the rest of the site, but only on an empty stomach...

You guys ever watch FOX News?

2004-12-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

Me neither. Those people scare me...when they're not making me laugh.

Scouting new talent

2004-12-11T15:20:00.000-05:00

One of my guilty pleasures is to attend high school basketball games in the suburban Boston area, and keep an eye on the emerging talent. Yes, the state has turned out some good point guards of recent memory, but the real gems are in the six-to-ten year old set.

Unacceptable.

2004-12-01T17:30:00.000-05:00

How excited was Dick Cheney about winning Ohio? Upon hearing the news, he walked into the next room and clotheslined an intern. Nice work, America. (Courtesy of The Onion.)

Hunted down like a grey tabby.

2004-12-01T17:23:00.000-05:00

Remember those annoying calendars with twelve months full of little kittens wearing sunglasses? In a special twist of Where Are They Now?, it appears we've tracked down one of the cats.

How often do we stop and congratulate

2004-11-27T16:46:00.000-05:00

...our family doctor? To all the Julius Hibberts out there whose overbelt repertoire was ahead of its time, I'd like to say thanks, on behalf of Kevbo the web genius.

A new foursome--

2004-11-27T16:34:00.000-05:00

Hey, I know who should form the new quartet as the USA's President, Vice President, Sec. State and Sec. Defense. Or better yet, who should be considered the 21st century's answer to John, Paul, George and Ringo. Ah, better still, a modern day Larry-Moe-Curly-Jermaine.