Sunday, November 25, 2007

You gonna burn WHAT?

Just some Real Talk© from a brother who always comes correct: R. Kelly.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Is this how we play Chicken in 2007?

It's November my friends--that means its the season of standardized tests (is it?). So with that in mind, here's a little warmup.

What is most offensive about this video clip?

A) The sheer act of being trampled by the Auburn football team.
B) The producer's decision to show the clip over and over with a certain cinematic flair.
C) The anchors' seamless integration of small talk into the program.
D) All of the above.

The answer is E--the fact that despite this hilarity, no one was actually hurt.

Monday, October 01, 2007

I heard Christopher Reeve was faking it too!

It's time for the executive leadership of Chicken Coop Holdings LLC to level with the public. We're about to be bought by News Corp. and as a result can only show news bloopers. Or so it would seem. Here's former paraplegic Kevin Everett showing the world that he has feelings too...

Sunday, September 02, 2007

We're sending our love down the well -- and straight to hell

Someone forgot to tell these people to warm up before singing in a stadium. Watch out for the old "steel wool" effect on your eardrums. But at least they look good doing it!

Monday, August 27, 2007

World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

I'm not going to add any personal interpretation. It's from The Onion and it's a @#$% riot. Enough said.


World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Best video dating blooper of 1986

This is highlight reel-caliber video dating footage; ladies, here's your knight in shining armor. Although behind every great man lies an Achilles Heel, and for Steven Morris it appears that simultaneously sitting and yelling are just too difficult to coordinate.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/27729/

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Let's get physical!

Wear sweats to the gym at your own risk.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Chris Farley as a little girl

Many thanks to Philip Huffman for unearthing a rare baby photo of Little Miss Chris Farley...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

USBeatdown

Watch with fascination as a corporate bean counter tackles his co-worker:

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Innovate or go home.

To all who have maxed out at 649 hogs per hour, I give you the Jarvis Hog-no-Mor™ H-650:

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mim's the word - that means please stop rapping.

Did anyone notice that in its latest expose' on the creative genius of all-galaxy rap artist Mims, the Village Voice is taking on Vibe and The Source for a dominant position in rap and RB publishing?

A sampler of some of the journalistic gems laid down by Rob Harvilla, clearly on his way to a Rappy award:

"First of all, no one calls it "Frisco" except rhyme-starved rappers, and the only worthwhile MCs living anywhere near Sacramento are in prison."

"As these claims and predictions are speculative, there are more possible outcomes; it seems reasonable to assert that Mims can't sell more than a mil' sayin' nothin'."

"Since we're feeling charitable we'll assume all of Mims's women are hot; with regard to our own conquests, it's best to be honest with ourselves."

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Elevating a drinking game to an art form.

This guy is a cocky bastard--and a goddamn hero at the game of Beirut. But the moving skateboard one is just obnoxious.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

From the creators of Dick In A Box...

Maybe you caught this last night? Here's why there's still hope for Saturday Night Live:

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Once clean-cut rap image goes UGLY

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you cross-bred the in-your-face dorkery of Nelly with the hard-hitting lameness of 50 Cent? What if you named the product Karl and then sent him away to school for an advanced degree in public policy? Search no more.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Can I get a neckhole in the congregation!?!?!

If you're an avid reader of Watt Poultry USA, you're likely to regularly face tough purchasing decisions, such as whether to invest in a dicer or leaf lard puller. Word to the wise--hold out for the spinal cord remover. (Coming in April!)










Monday, March 05, 2007

Tha Criminalympics Main Event - Liquor Store Robbery

Rule #1 when you're robbing a liquor store--try to go through the front door. Broken window glass feels much better cutting through your skin than a hundred shattered wine bottles!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Evite: Lucy Gao's Birthday Blowout! Attendees: 0.

Breathe it in, boys and girls...here's a perfect example of how the internet can be used for forces of good instead of evil--in this case the appropriate backlash to a prissy banking intern's nauseating self-importance. (see below)

Probably the funniest part about this is how people line up to start ripping her apart--one by one, obviously bankers in London, then out of nowhere the dialogue switches from English to Danish...then the Italians weigh in...

Don't miss tonights action--the seedings will be announced for the group stage of a worldwide round-robin tournament. We'll see, once and for all, which nation's finance community can spread electronic ridicule the fastest! Norway's blogger population flourished in 2006, and Mexico boasts a staggering 92% incidence of ridicule-related hospitalizations, but this year all eyes will be on Polish expat "Olek" Gajowniczek, the self-proclaimed Monarch of Mockery, who was fired from his job at Citigroup and is now a consultant to portly middle school bullies named Ian all along the eastern seaboard.

I, for one, will be riveted in my seat.

Links:
lucygao.blogspot.com,
YouTube,
The Guardian,
Times Online,
AOL,
CBS,
The Sun.


To save space in our cluttered coop, I've posted the full text separately. Click here.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Faces - February crop




G. Schumbagg





Richard Cannoli





Lyle "Muffin Top" Jones





Doug the Eyesore

Friday, February 09, 2007

Have our journalism schools gone downhill?



We're up to our eyeballs in the Information Age, so yes, time management is a critical skill for all of us....but please, this multitasking thing has gotten way out of hand.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Dropping like flies on Serbian TV



Holy crud, talk about a quick change of fortune. This woman was on her way to delivering the news bite to end all new bites...where did the chloroform come from? Note the big falling square.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Da Superfans - raising the bar even higher!




With the buildup to Super Bowl XLI, the real stars won't even be taking the field. They'll be at Slugger's Bar & Grill in Chicago, serenading the patrons with sweet nasal melodies from the (enlarged) heart.

Looks like NBC, AOL, MSN, Yahoo!, Google, The Wall Street Journal, The Tribune Company, The Chicago Sun-Times, the underground hip-hop establishment, and many others have caught on! www.DaSuperfans.com

Friday, January 12, 2007

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

More faces



handsome David Cross




terrorist Roy Munson




Grubby Lopez




Amish peadophile

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Star Trek Cribs - The Director's Cut

This is a spectacular spoof. How they got the world's finest actor to do the voiceover is beyond me.

Friday, September 29, 2006

50 Forint - the hottest rap star east of the Danube

I'm going to let this clip speak for itself (with just a small intro by E-man):

"This video came to my attention earlier tonight, courtesy of my hungarian neighbors who wanted to show me "far more than just funny." May I present to you Speak Kecz, an aspiring hungarian rapper, who-totally true-sunk the bulk of the money he made in business and in his days traveling the world on cruise ships, on this music video he thought would launch his rap career by capturing the "anti-war" vibe at the right time. Bear in mind that this is not a joke and he has hired,out of his own pocket I am told, some of actually known hungarian singers to back him, as well as a rented a porsche and a full video film crew to shoot the video in a prominent military cemetery."

(And here at the Chicken Coop, we support all shout outs to Tupac from retired bond traders.)


Friday, September 22, 2006

Presenting Emmanuel Lewistan



The one thing that I can't figure is, if this arranged marriage was intended to produce the hottest 80s dance moves this side of 1995...why in god's name did they engineer their kid to look like a mini James Brown?

Kudos to E-man for unearthing this precious metal:



And now there's a part two.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Fun with a police artist sketchbook

Here's my barbershop quartet for the night. That little bugger in the #4 slot, I like to think of him as an amish Sam Cassell. I invite you to submit your own.



Myron Lickspittle


Roving eyebrow Dwayne Wayne


Handsome midget


Amish Sam Cassell

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Peter Piper on the Pacific Rim



This is your typical meat-and-potatoes Japanese game show, reflecting new legislation that has done away with the hooking up of electrodes to one's nuts. The name of the game: high stakes tongue twisters!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Flash the pink card!



Make no mistake--the Chicken Coop is friendly to all lifestyles, inclusive of all homosexuals and extending far beyond. But this video of the gay soccer referee is one of the most enlightening clips in recent memory.

Many thanks to Alex Reinlieb for this one:

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Jam out at your own risk

This jolly little hipster-in-training has taught us all a valuable lesson: in the information age, DON'T DO ANYTHING, because someone is probably filming a video of you to put online. Wake up, stretch, and go back to bed, and you have nothing to worry about.



When he turns up the heat during the third verse, be prepared to wet yourself.

By the way, Star Wars Kid can finally breathe a sigh of relief. In other news, if I were Gnarls Barkley I would put my name on this and splash it on MTV right away.

And without further ado: "Kid caught singing."

Friday, May 19, 2006

Jackhammers may cause birth defects!

I've said it before and I'll say it again...our nation is only as intelligent as its expectant mothers from Roanoke:

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Friday, April 21, 2006

Does Kia make copiers now too?

Here's an instructional video for all office admins.



Many thanks to Alex Reinlieb for this one:

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The spirit of Christmas

This just warms my heart. Tops is the part where he's pawing at the Nintendo box like a declawed kitten.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Camels are terrific!


Many thanks to Sergio Burani for seeing beauty in nasal chaos.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Most patient guy in the world

"This little German kid is nuts, he gets so pissed off waiting for a video game to load." Watch video
"Pay special attention to the part where he accidentally bashes the Help key. "Hilfe?!?!" Ich brauche keine Hilfe!"
"For such a slow computer, this krauts got one hell of a webcam...he should really get that fixed, before he puts his head through the monitor...or get some rec-specs."